If you have been running from your pain for a long time, as I once did, this pain can easily become a part of your story. The ego is entangled in it. It is time to slowly untangle and release it so you can make a new ending or continue to strive to be a work in progress. Re-writing your story is not as difficult as it may seem. Practicing acceptance is key but there is also another option for those who , like myself, tend to write everything down: Journaling.
I have found journaling to be extremely helpful because it allows me to explore my thoughts and feelings without the extra pressure of being judged, criticized or rejected for whom I am. Often, we can get caught up in others opinions and present a false sense of reality as means of coping with lifes issues. There is a need to appear “perfect” or totally happy all the time. That is just not how life works and engaging in this type of behavior is hazardous to your overall mental health. Learning how to cope and using gratitude as a way to appreciate, over time, creates more stability. These days its popular to have a gratitude journal, and its a great idea. Not giving in to the weight of worrying and the negative but remembering what you can be grateful for gives you a strong perspective and can be beneficial.
Writing about the hard stuff in life is actually what has helped me get through those times and journaling can be so powerful. Here’s why: It is the act of processing the past and sometimes the future, in the here and now. Processing can feel scary and or/overwhelming but getting it outside yourself can give it a new shape or meaning. It is also cathartic. Unloading conscious and subconscious thoughts will help the mind become clearer and in turn , will make you calmer. I have found it amazing how clearer I felt emotionally, mentally after writing those jumbling thoughts and ideas down. You start to notice that these emotions and experiences become less daunting and incredibly meaningful. With especially dark, troubling events or situations, you will find that you can wade through it and just allow yourself to feel. Recently, A dear friend to me passed away. I am thinking about creating something special for him as a way to remember and celebrate his life. As I write about it now, it gives me a sense of peace to allow myself to feel whatever emotions connected to him. Even if there isn’t anyone reading it, I will have created a full-bodied process that honors him and help me to hold his light in my heart and mind.
Reading back what you’ve written can help reveal patterns and be empowering. It can be a way to remove yourself from feeling stuck on certain things and you can reflect on what changes need to be made. Also, you can celebrate any little changes you have made. For example, the idea of worrying what people think of you can be a real pressure for some people but over time, after reading your thoughts you can reflect on how much you’ve grown and how now your thoughts are centered on yourself and the good you’ve done. Moving forward is always good no matter how long it takes, keep pushing to be the best version of you.. Sharing some of your writing has an added benefit of being seen, being visible in the ways you want to be and feel safe. When you acknowledge your struggles as well as find the humor in them, that can be a source of motivation and inspiration for others. In the same manner do not be discouraged if you feel that you cannot share so much of your private thoughts, it takes time to be vulnerable and open yourself through journaling. You may decide that journaling is strictly a private thing and that is perfectly fine as well. The goal here is to be able to utilize this coping skill, to carry you through and have a clearer mindset. Writing requires you to dig deeper but it is truly worth all the effort.