I have ALWAYS been a fan of birthdays. After all, it’s our own special day where we celebrate life and hopefully getting wiser with each year lol. As a child, I could remember the slumber parties and get-togethers at my place vividly. However, as the years passed, I noticed that I wasn’t as excited and somehow friends and family didn’t acknowledge my day unless I gave a hint or just said outright “Hey you know my birthday is in 3 days”. I made a big deal of sending cards, flowers, a phone call or text for others so there was this glimmer of hope that I would get the same in return. As it turns out the past few years, it’s been dry. And I ended up feeling blue on what I would definitely call one of the most important days in my lifetime. I would love to have a 50th birthday extravaganza but we will see how that ends up. In September, I started thinking of ways to spend my birthday alone and still have a nice time. I had an idea of my hair, outfit etc. I spent so much time thinking about my birthday that I started to feel overwhelmed. I was snappy at my daughter, I started to avoid texts and phone calls. I could feel myself becoming withdrawn. One afternoon, Sept 28th, on our way back to the house, I ended up in a car accident. It was sudden and did not see it coming. Thankfully no one was seriously hurt although I had a few minor bruises on my arm. The car was a total loss but compared to our lives, it’s all good. Ive just made a purchase on another vehicle and Im patient through that process. I didn’t feel the effects until afterwards, emotionally and physically. It is so true that when you go through a trauma usually the symptoms do not even show until later. Fast forward to a day before my birthday, I decided to go bald. I’ve done a big chop before so I wasn’t nervous about it at all. This time around, it was just a complete reset, I wanted to shed everything I was feeling and what better way than to take everything off. I was practicing gratitude but at the same time making a wish for something different or better to manifest in my life. Anyone whose ever decided to cut their hair can tell you its liberating. Especially if you’ve been used to growing out your hair and have some length to it. Its been a trend online for awhile now to Big Chop and so many are going natural. Honestly, I’ve been on both sides and having relaxed hair wasn’t such an issue for me until I learned about the effects the chemicals will have short and long term. It is a personal choice.
October 9th came in and at 12 am I was up playing a birthday playlist. From Stevie Wonders version , Tarrus Riley “Shes Royal” , Rihanna, Katy Perry. I had on silk pajama bottoms and a top and just had a private party, India Arie sings that song best. Throughout the day, I lounged in bed until about 5pm. Then I decided that I was going to the local bar, have a few drinks and head back in. It was a last minute thing and I just felt like no way am I gonna spend my day in this bed LOL. So I wore all black, indulged in some selfies before I left the house with my new crown I had purchased online from Emery Rose. Its beautiful!
I arrive at the bar and found a seat close to the door. I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea after much debate because I love my Amaretto sours but it has to be D’isaronno! I also received a birthday shot which was groovy. Lime juice, peach snapps & some other liquor I cannot recall lol. As I sat there, the owner walked in and wished me a Happy Birthday, Yes I told everyone 🙂 Two ladies came in from out of town: Omaha Nebraska to be exact. They ordered another shot and a drink for me. We started chatting and I started to enjoy myself. I needed something to eat so I ordered garlic parmesan wings. Those wings were GOOD During that time, I learned that they were on a visit to NY, one was an academic advisor and the other was soon retired. Both were hilarious and the sweetest thing happened, the bartender comes out with this hot chocolate chip cookie dessert and they start to sing Happy Birthday! I was like whoa is this really happening, these guys whom I don’t even know are acknowledging my day and celebrating me?! I just smiled and said thank you but I was so pleased and touched by their kind gesture.
I was asked my age and said a proud “44” to which everyone said ” OH you’re a Baby!” I thought that was so cute considering my teenage daughter thinks just the opposite haha. I didn’t stay long because at around 10 pm they take the chairs away make room for the dance floor and the college kids from Marist fill up the spot. We all exchanged info and as I walked into the house I thought wow this has been a better day than I even expected. I lit my birthday carrot cake and made a wish for everything positive to manifest in this coming year and for the strength to handle the stress that may come along as well.
As far as gifts, I was in the gratefulness mindset especially since the accident so I was happy that I was safe and sound. I did treat myself to an autographed copy of a book called “Unlocking The Queen Code” by Moseley Crawford. It’s like a journal/self-help book and so far, its been rewarding to jot down emotions and memories as they come up. I enjoy any type of motivational talks, books etc. There is a phrase which is mentioned through out the book called “heart” work not hard work and I like that. When you delve within and feel like you are struggling with varying moods, you can remind yourself that its part of the healing process.
Birthdays should be sacred and enjoyable, even if not loud. It should be a day to do whatever you feel most comfortable doing. Take the day to write a list of all the things you are working on, what you have already obtained and as a dear friend said to me that night ” Make your birthday what you want it to be !” I’m appreciative of this journey I am on and look forward to more moments and experiences along the way.