In Deep – Fantasia

“I find in being black, a thing of beauty: a joy, a strength, a secret cup of gladness” – Ossie Davis

I’m not scared if I bleed
If I tear it proves to me
The love I shared was worth
Every drop (drop, drop, drop)
And lord knows I don’t want
This to stop


I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna feel your scars

And cherish every flaw
I wanna go in deep
With you


I wanna dig my nails into you
Strip you down to your truths
Take your dark side
I’ll take your sunshine too (too, too, too)
I’ll let you inside
And you can have mine too


I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna feel your scars
And cherish every flaw
I wanna go in deep
With you

“To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the breaking of bread.”- Unknown


I wanna go in deep
Oh
I wanna go in deep
Yeah with you
I wanna go in deep
Oh, oh
Oh I wanna go in deep
Hey with you


I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna go in deep
With you
I wanna feel your scars
And cherish every flaw
I wanna go in deep
With you

Let’s Wait Awhile

NOTE TO SELF:

Patience is a virtue indeed. Take the time to slow down, even stop for rest and reflection. Life is about balance. Being successful requires both persistence and determination but it also requires self-care. Your mental health is of utmost importance. You can only advise, inspire and support others when you are at full capacity mentally. Do not worry about your speed or pace. One day at a time leads to months of growth and eventually years of accomplishments.

I want to be free. This may sound silly to some, perhaps even idealistic but I want to move forward into the life I am destined to live. As I look within, there are many areas that need work. This journey is a process and it is not easy by any means. But, I GOT THIS. I’m never giving up or quitting on myself. Even when I shed tears and feel down, I have to remember that I am loved and there is so much in store for the future. It is so easy to get distracted by social media, material things, celebrity news and end up in comparisons about your own life and success. I choose to live in gratitude. It’s the only way I know how to survive and thrive. I have come a long way and it is honestly just the beginning. I am preparing myself to look forward to the rest of my story.

Mental Health Awareness Month

“Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health – take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.” ~ Beyonce’

We’re always on the go, it seems like. Do we even pause and check on how our mental and emotional health is holding up? 

Self care is not self indulgence it is self preservation – Audre Lorde

Asking this same question myself, especially in this time of an ongoing pandemic, I want to share a few tips that definitely work for me:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It can be as simple as talking to a friend or family member , inquiring about a baby-sitter for a night to yourself, expressing your emotions on any given day. If you feel that you want to speak to someone consistently, you can seek out a counselor or therapist.

Find an outlet that makes you happy and relaxes you.

From writing, painting, sewing to exercise there are many ways to relieve anxiety and stress. Take the time to enjoy your favorite hobby. For myself, I enjoy writing and working out. Exercise release endorphins and helps my mood tremendously.

Connect with other working women

I made a promise to myself to network more and meet other women that managed to balance work and home life. Attending seminars, zoom calls etc , I get the opportunity to connect. Don’t be shy to extend your business card to another, offering a meet-up for coffee/tea and just simply asking ” So how you do you make it work?” You may be surprised that the answers are similar or that you’re asked for input as well. It helps to know that you’re not alone.

Take care of yourself , first and foremost.

It’s easy to put your needs on the backburner when you’re juggling a million different things, but it’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure to schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.

Self-care is essential for maintaining your mental health, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Taking a hot bath, reading your favorite book, or taking a walk in nature can all help you relax and recharge.

About Damn Time – Lizzo

In honor of mental health awareness. http://www.whatwaist.com has a sale on their waist trainers code: Healthy15 I’ve purchased from them before and enjoy mine. Black, and cool neon colors as well.

Waist Define Band

Mental and emotional health are important for everyone, regardless of gender. However, women often face unique challenges when it comes to taking care of their mental and emotional wellbeing – so, if you’re struggling, please don’t take self-care for granted!

Affirmations for Race Based Trauma

Racial trauma refers to the mental and emotional injury caused by encounters with racial bias, ethnic discrimination, racism, and hate crimes. Since the murder of George Floyd and the protest that followed (BTW, guilty on all three counts #hallejuah) social scientists have provided insight on how racial trauma affects BIPOC. It’s a trauma that we […]

Affirmations for Race Based Trauma

I tried to find the words to express a little of how I am feeling this evening and once I read this young woman’s post, it sums it up very well. Thank you for your voice. Peace ✌🏾

Well Read Black Girl

Glory Edim

Since 2015 Glory Edim, writer and entrepreneur, has created a space for black women to engage in black literature and with one another.

In nearly six years, the book club, which began as a monthly meet up, has expanded so much influence, Former President Barack Obama was on the platform to talk about his new book ” A Promised Land”

There is a book out also which is a collection of stories by black women about discovering ones self and other works. Check out her interview below with Essence Magazine on her passion and plans for the future. https://www.essence.com/culture/glory-edim-on-what-it-means-to-be-a-well-read-black-girl/

Just Be

I have realized during this global pandemic, you don’t always have to do things. Or achieve things. You don’t always have to spend your free time productively. You don’t have to create that knitting project in one night, complete a DIY project in art or attend every Zumba class online.

Sometimes..you can just be..and feel things and get through and survive. Indulge in some Almond Milk and chocolate chip cookies and thats more than enough.

The Healthy Nail Project

Meet Nicole Aandahl

Ms. Nicole Aandahl is the creator/owner of The Healthy Nail Project based in Washington, Dc. Before I post her response to her innovative idea, I would like to mention that she has been involved in advocating for mental health in her community after she lost her little brother to suicide due to his bipolar disorder.

“I started the Healthy Nail Project to help nail biters and pickers transcend their habit.  The program is a holistic approach rooted in mindfulness, self care and education and is the only one of its kind.  I created the program in order to overcome my own habit, which had tried many times to stop.  I got serious about stopping when I saw my three-year-old mimicking my behavior.  I learned all I could about nail anatomy and growth, nail care and grooming, body specific repetitive behaviour, and intention-setting. I even evaluated my diet and learned about nutrition for nail health!   Following my carefully crafted process I overcame my 35+ year habit in just two weeks, and restored the health and growth of my nails in just four.  I first started my blog https://healthynailproject.com to provide information on nail care and offer support for nail biters, and began planning a structured program. This first cohort of the Healthy Nail Project’s “Heal Your Hands” program will start in Washington, D.C. this May.  The program kicks off with a mini-retreat and is followed by four weeks of self care, on-going support, nurturing manicures (nothing fake!), and a complete guide to the program as well as a luxe “quit kit.’  I will be taking the program on the road this summer, with locations both North and South TBD.  I am so excited to offer this program to help people overcome what seems like an insurmountable obstacle, and set them on the way for happy, pain-free, healthy nails!”
https://healthynailproject.com IG/FB/Pinterest: @thehealthynailproject.com

Be sure to check out her website & pass the word on to anyone who may be interested in learning how to overcome their habits and maintain healthy nails! I am excited about her vision and wish her success!

Still I Rise- Dr. Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
’Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
’Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Source: The Complete Collected Poems of Maya Angelou (1994)

Balance Works Better

It seems that for many of us, a life balance may be an impossible goal. There’s work, school, relationships, children etc. Not to mention any outside interests or hobbies we may want to pursue. So it should come as no surprise that there are a lot of us that feel stressed. The definition of stress: a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances. In the rush to get everything done, we don’t understand that as stress rises, it can mess with our concentration, make us irritable or depressed as well as harm personal/professional relationships. Stress can also mess with our physical bodies, as sickness and ailments.

While we all need a certain amount of stress/motivation to get things accomplished, the key to managing it all is one word: balance. There are a few things you can do to learn how to do. First, recognize the need for personal time. If you need to unplug from technology also, great. Give yourself a time frame and during that time, rest or engage in something that relaxes you. Shed the superwoman or superman urge! When looking at your calendar, schedule in time just for yourself. Don’t overcommit, it’s better to say no to certain activities and/or events.

Stay active. We all know exercise has so many benefits but one of the most important things to note is that exercise reduces stress levels significantly when it is consistent. Those feel-good hormones are released and work their way to your mental and emotional well-being. Whether its a gym membership, a trek team in your neighborhood or taking a walk on your lunch break, make time to be active and over time you will see the benefits. Treat your body right. Alcohol, cigarettes and drugs only weaken the immune system and can lead to serious addictions. Look for support also. Chatting with family/friends can be an important part of the de-stress routine. Make time to send a text or phone call to check in with loved ones and friends. Most times, people with stronger support systems have a more aggressive immune system and can ward off potential problems. Its a known fact! Don’t let stress stand in your way of happiness. Figure out a meaningful balance between work/rest/play that will enable you to lead a more satisfying and fulfilling life. You’re worth it.