And If Today All You Did Was Hold Yourself Together, I’m Proud Of You

I saw this post on social media and I had to share it here. Always remember that you have the power within to overcome anything that comes your way ❤❤❤

DEPRESSION TIPS:

Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancy and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

* At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

* In case nobody has told you today I Love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

***People don’t fake depression.. they fake being ok.

Find something to be grateful for!

US National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
800-273-8255

Even on your worst days you are always worth love and respect. Don’t ever settle for anything less

Prepared – Jill Scott

I been reading my old journals
Checking to see where my head has been
And I been apologizing to some people
Some bridges I needed to mend
And I been eating more greens
Getting my body alkaline, oh
I’m gonna be super fine
And I been lettin’
Been lettin’ some old ideas go
I’m making room for my life to grow
I just wanna be prepared, yeah

I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared
I just wanna be prepared
Getting myself ready
For what’s comin’ for me yeah yeah yeah
I am (I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared)
I just wanna be prepared
(Prepared)

Hear me now
I been getting recipes off the internet
Most times they be banging
I realized they’re only good when I put
My lil’ spices all up in rices
I’ve been
You know I’ve been enjoying people who love each other
Husband and wife
Sister and brother
Father and mother
I let the queen inside
I let her shine
I been listening to God more
I been doing my chores

I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared
I’ve been gettin’ myself together
For what’s, for what’s comin’ to me yeah
I just wanna be prepared yeah yeah yeah yeah
(I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared)
I just wanna be prepared
(Prepared)

For when I see him at the end of the isle
With that true heart and that real smile
Intentions pure
A love that will endure
I just wanna be prepared
I, I’m gettin’ myself together
For what’s comin’ to me comin’ to me yeah
I just wanna be prepared hmm
Oh
I just wanna be prepared

I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared
Prepared
I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared
Prepared
I just wanna be, I just wanna be prepared
Prepared

Let’s Wait Awhile

NOTE TO SELF:

Patience is a virtue indeed. Take the time to slow down, even stop for rest and reflection. Life is about balance. Being successful requires both persistence and determination but it also requires self-care. Your mental health is of utmost importance. You can only advise, inspire and support others when you are at full capacity mentally. Do not worry about your speed or pace. One day at a time leads to months of growth and eventually years of accomplishments.

I want to be free. This may sound silly to some, perhaps even idealistic but I want to move forward into the life I am destined to live. As I look within, there are many areas that need work. This journey is a process and it is not easy by any means. But, I GOT THIS. I’m never giving up or quitting on myself. Even when I shed tears and feel down, I have to remember that I am loved and there is so much in store for the future. It is so easy to get distracted by social media, material things, celebrity news and end up in comparisons about your own life and success. I choose to live in gratitude. It’s the only way I know how to survive and thrive. I have come a long way and it is honestly just the beginning. I am preparing myself to look forward to the rest of my story.

Mental Health Awareness Month

“Women have to take the time to focus on our mental health – take time for self, for the spiritual, without feeling guilty or selfish. The world will see you the way you see you, and treat you the way you treat yourself.” ~ Beyonce’

We’re always on the go, it seems like. Do we even pause and check on how our mental and emotional health is holding up? 

Self care is not self indulgence it is self preservation – Audre Lorde

Asking this same question myself, especially in this time of an ongoing pandemic, I want to share a few tips that definitely work for me:

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It can be as simple as talking to a friend or family member , inquiring about a baby-sitter for a night to yourself, expressing your emotions on any given day. If you feel that you want to speak to someone consistently, you can seek out a counselor or therapist.

Find an outlet that makes you happy and relaxes you.

From writing, painting, sewing to exercise there are many ways to relieve anxiety and stress. Take the time to enjoy your favorite hobby. For myself, I enjoy writing and working out. Exercise release endorphins and helps my mood tremendously.

Connect with other working women

I made a promise to myself to network more and meet other women that managed to balance work and home life. Attending seminars, zoom calls etc , I get the opportunity to connect. Don’t be shy to extend your business card to another, offering a meet-up for coffee/tea and just simply asking ” So how you do you make it work?” You may be surprised that the answers are similar or that you’re asked for input as well. It helps to know that you’re not alone.

Take care of yourself , first and foremost.

It’s easy to put your needs on the backburner when you’re juggling a million different things, but it’s important to remember that you can’t pour from an empty cup. Make sure to schedule time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes each day.

Self-care is essential for maintaining your mental health, and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Taking a hot bath, reading your favorite book, or taking a walk in nature can all help you relax and recharge.

About Damn Time – Lizzo

In honor of mental health awareness. http://www.whatwaist.com has a sale on their waist trainers code: Healthy15 I’ve purchased from them before and enjoy mine. Black, and cool neon colors as well.

Waist Define Band

Mental and emotional health are important for everyone, regardless of gender. However, women often face unique challenges when it comes to taking care of their mental and emotional wellbeing – so, if you’re struggling, please don’t take self-care for granted!

Kindness Always Comes Back

“Each one of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm, when we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other and empathize with each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.”- Dr. Maya Angelou

A Way Of Life

Queen, be a woman of integrity. Do the right thing, no matter where you are. Always do your best, even when no one is around to acknowledge it. Carry your brilliance wherever you go. Let everything you complete be of high quality. Take responsibility for your outcomes, instead of blaming others. Stand up for what you believe,even if you are standing alone. Be the first to apologize if you have done something wrong. As a woman of royal lineage, you are destined to be a great leader, and great leaders always take the high road. It may not be popular, easy, or convenient, but thats why we are extraordinary. It is time to make supreme excellence a way of life.

Excerpt from ” Unlocking The Queen Code”- Moseley Crawford

You Got This

I forgive myself and I release all the things that do not serve me now. One of the most difficult things to do in this lifetime for sure, especially considering how complex it can be to set apart things that may feel good but may not be good for you. Having your own voice will become a treasure for you once you realize that it is your right to speak and defend your thoughts. Im sure so many can remember the old saying that children should be seen and not heard. That saying has always rubbed me the wrong way as if no matter what is going on around us, if you are a certain age, it should be kept bottled up inside. Its OK to be you and to say how you feel. Knowing that others may not agree with you is just fine. If you can manage to get across a point in a respectful yet assertive manner, you may often be surprised that you gain more listeners. Having someone tell you they’ve never thought of it in the way you have expressed can be so valuable.

Im still working through “Unlocking The Queen Code” by Moseley Crawford. It is more like a personal workbook and at times, I had to put it down because it brought up intense emotions. I can’t stress enough how important it is to acknowledge any feelings as they come to the surface and process them, by yourself or with a licensed professional. One thing I am learning, even now, is that when you’re in a process of healing, you have to surround yourself with others that are optimistic and encouraging. “There’s hope. Are you a pauper or a superstar? So you act so you feel so you are”..one of my fave lyrics. It is truly based on your perception. You cannot go any further if you are stuck in repeating the same bad habits or behaviors. They feel comfortable but will cause more harm in the long run. Maybe no one has ever told you so, but in order to make progress, you have to be willing to listen to advice from those that you feel may live a successful life or somehow managing to go with the flow with hardly any drama. Seems impossible but it isn’t. I was recently given a book. It is called the W.R.A.P. and in it details instructions that many of us would call basic but very necessary in mental wellness. Simple acts of writing down a daily schedule can make all the difference. I really like how it breaks these tasks down so that you understand how to recognize when you’re having an off day or need to check in with someone else. Now I know you may think Oh ok I know when I’m not feeling good but what do you do about it? How do you handle it so that you can immediately change the course of events or feelings that have you down? We get so caught up in our lives that we have forgotten to truly take a moment to assess our wants and needs.

When you feel like you need to speak up about something that may be bothering you, go right ahead and do so. If you don’t feel like you can verbally express yourself at the moment, I would write it down. I am at a stage in my life where I voice my feelings and express my discomfort when need be. You should never feel ashamed to speak your mind. We , in our own unique ways, have so much to offer and we should never have to shrink ourselves for anyone to feel better. It takes time and a willingness to be uncomfortable in certain conversations but well worth the outcome.

Just One Of Those Days

The definition of melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness usually without any cause. Ive been trying to shake off the blues for a few days now. I think I feel it more because I’ve been in the house since I’m not driving at the moment. I will be, soon. I will also register for the spring semester at Dutchess during the first week of November. So I’m just stuck in a transition I guess and feel blah. Also, I am fully vaccinated and with that I guess I thought I would have superpowers but nope not even a headache..lol. Lately so many negative thoughts have been coming up. And I’m thinking to myself ” what does this all mean? Why am I ruminating and beating up on myself for the past?” For the record, I have always been the glass is half full type of person. I find reasons to acknowledge the pain in others when they’re not on their best behavior because that’s what it comes down to. Most often, anger is just hurt. So often, its just a bad day for most and its understandable. I try to keep a gratitude journal and practice meditation but there are some days where it feels like nothing works and I am uninspired to say the least. I think what needs to be clarified is the fact that it is allright to have these type of days. Its natural and doesn’t take away from the person you are. Sometimes, we don’t feel like engaging in housework, or exercise. Later for that phone call or text. You don’t want to be bothered and you don’t want to announce it to anyone either. I get it.

I find peace in music. I have a genuine love for all genres so my playlist varies. I love old and new school artists and a close friend introduced me to a number of unknown artists that do not always get radio play and I have to admit, some of the best songs I’ve listened to. Its something about a song and lyric that speak to you and for you about any particular topic. Lianne La Havas has several songs I love. Here’s one I enjoy: Midnight but I recommend the entire album. Amazing that she has the same album done solo without any arrangements. Beautiful 😍

Many times, I find myself thinking about my life and how much progress I’ve made. I have come a long way but still have so much to improve upon. It’s one day at a time for anyone whose trying to succeed but lately with a global pandemic, it can feel overwhelming. I’ve never had a crowd around me or had a large group of friends. Even in high school, I remember having a “clique” that I ran with and I was just fine with that. I considered myself a “loner” in many ways. I found pleasure in reading novels rather than talking over the phone. There were times where I told jokes in order to take the attention off of me and make others feel more at ease. I guess I was afraid that if people got to know the real me, what I enjoyed in my spare time etc, I wouldn’t be “cool” or have as many friends. I loved to write as well. I kept a journal along with reading favorite novels. One of my favorite books was a series of books by Laura Ingalls Wilder called ” Little House On The Prairie”. As a young black girl from the south bronx, it would seem that I had nothing in common with Laura, but I could relate in many ways. Having two sisters and a brother as well as both parents in the household. I would become so immersed in the stories that I often missed my mom calling me for dinner. Another favorite of mine was Harriet The Spy by Louise Fitzhugh. I often saw myself in Harriet, going around observing everything and jotting it down it my notebook. I never had time to “feel’ loneliness or wonder why certain friends and I weren’t chatty anymore. I had my notebook and I’d create short stories or poems about any and everything. Books can be a great source for a mental getaway. Currently I’m reading a novel by Bernadine Evaristo ” Girl, Woman, Other” I think I will do another post about the novel soon. Barnes and Noble and even your local library may bring some comfort. Its worth a try.

As I went to take my 1 year old puppy Remy for a walk today I noticed that my Brown Sugar Box arrived. This subscription is awesome. Every month it’s a shipment of various products that celebrate sisterhood, empowerment and I also love opening gifts so its perfect for me lol. This month featured champagne flutes, a wine stopper, always a different t-shirt and other goodies. Head on over to http://www.izzyandliv.com and see all they have to offer

I need to mention Remington of course! We call him Remy and we love him. He’s full breed Pekingese and full of energy. Its true that pets can be a great source of comfort. To watch him grow from 3 months until now has been great.

I believe that you should do whatever makes you feel better in regards to your mental health as long as its not a detriment to yourself or anyone else. If this means lounging in bed all day so be it. Allow yourself to feel. We live in a society that likes to place blame and shame for having moments of doubt , anger, anxiety or even fear. The key is your response to these emotions and how you can process them in order to get a breakthrough. Sometimes the work requires a third party professional and thats fine. If you are at that step and realize this, you should feel a sense of progress because asking for help is a sign of bravery. We talk about self-care but so many of us don’t realize how simple it can be. Taking a moment to do something just for yourself can be a mood changer. It can be as quick as an affirmation to acknowledge that you are not feeling like yourself.

Statements such as : I choose me!

Everything I want is everything I should have!

I choose to do great things today!

I love the skin I’m in!

I will think in abundance not scarcity!

I find that the second I start to focus on an action that will bring me back to gratitude I start to feel better. And ready for the next day., even if not all together overjoyed but the best part is that I tried. You can do it too!

Affirmations for Race Based Trauma

Racial trauma refers to the mental and emotional injury caused by encounters with racial bias, ethnic discrimination, racism, and hate crimes. Since the murder of George Floyd and the protest that followed (BTW, guilty on all three counts #hallejuah) social scientists have provided insight on how racial trauma affects BIPOC. It’s a trauma that we […]

Affirmations for Race Based Trauma

I tried to find the words to express a little of how I am feeling this evening and once I read this young woman’s post, it sums it up very well. Thank you for your voice. Peace ✌🏾